home buying on the brain

as the year is coming to a close, i cant help but have all these things cramming up my brain space. i was always told to write things down, say them out loud, and let the universe hear  you. there are so many little things that i dont really say out loud because i dont think they will, or can happen, given our circumstances in the navy. a few to ramble off are: 

buying a home.

getting into a nursing school.

having a second baby.

now. here is the thing. nursing school should come first. but with us not knowing where we are going to settle down, means i cant quite commit to a two year program without knowing for sure that i will be able to complete it. in order for me to have sound mind, of said school, i would need daycare for kimbah. this is where home buying comes in. we would ideally love to be located in central san diego. mira mesa/rancho bernardo/la mesa... but my family, who is available to watch kimbah are in north county. my sister who also has a daughter just a few months younger than kim, is a stay at home mom. she is the first choice. i mean, kim would be playing with paisley all day, and in great hands. if we lived  down in san diego, it wouldnt make sense to drive up north to drop her off everyday. we really dont want to think of buying in vista, but ive been looking.. and i can see us living on the out skirts.... you know, not so bad.. as far as as schooling in vista, id consider VAPA, or Guajome. anyways. on to the next issue. the big " one and done " issue.

see, kevin and i really only want one child. and thats because we want to be able to offer her anything and everything within reason. we want to be able to give her our undivided attention. we want to send her to ANY college of her choice, put her in riding lessons, ice skating, ect.. with two children i feel like we cant offer her all of that. i mean, im sure we could work it out, we just havnt thought about having a second, so close together. 

with kevin being in the navy for only a few more years, having another baby under tricare insurance would make sense. i didnt pay a cent to have kimberly. i think about the diapers, the breastfeeding, the baby crap we still have around... all of that can still be used if we had one sooner than later.. but it doesnt feel right. last night we set up her crib in our room. i tried to put her to sleep in our bed, and transfer her to her crib while she was knocked out.. but i fell asleep with her. OOps. im not ready to give all these things up for a new baby. she is my baby and as far as im concerned at this special moment, she is all we need. 

but one day it wont be about us. i believe she will need someone. a sibling. someone to grow old with when we are long gone. heaven forbid one of us die, and the other is still around and like barely hanging on.. kimberly will need support ya know? i dont know, i just think giving her a sibling is the right thing to do. 

but. it all starts out with buying a home. or renting.. whatever.

i cant go to nursing school with a new baby at home. 

becoming a nurse before having a second baby is a priority.

but it all comes down to a home. 

enjoy some of these photos that inspire me daily.

all photos are from my pinterest