Wednesday, May 22, 2013


today my older sister is in labor with her first child, Paisely. it makes my heart hurt that i cant be there to support her through this amazing day, but i am always in her heart. my sister and i are only 18 months apart, and we have always been close growing up. i may have borrowed her clothes and left them places, i may have hung out with friends of hers, and i may have tagged along when she didnt want me to. although at times i may have been a pest, i just wanted to be next to you.

my sister has always been the hardworking, think about others before herself type. she has three yorkies who love attention, and she is married to her high school sweetheart, Trevor. they started doing business together and it allowed them to think about starting a family. i knew my sister wanted kids, but she never really expressed interest in having a baby because my sister isnt one for blood. she was upset at the thought of labor and delivery. i was 40 weeks pregnant, husband deployed, and about to give birth to my first baby, when she told me she was expecting. she was nervous to tell me, i dont know why. no matter what is going on in my life, i always want her to be happy.

Paisley will be Kimbahs first cousin. they will be about 7 & a half months apart. that is a dream really. i have three first cousins that are boys, and we arent close at all. it makes me very sad that now as adults, we dont communicate at all. even now with social media, it still isnt what i would like it to be. i have two cousins that are females, on my moms side. we lost touch growing up and eventually found each other through myspace. my cousin Alyssa is right around my age. with the way things went down and we didnt see each other growing up, it really made an impact on our relationship. we could be way close today if our parents made an effort. i wish i had that bond with Alyssa that we could of had. thats what i hope for Kimbah and Paisley. i hope they are instant best friends.  we will be living here in VA until kim is about three, and by then she will be understanding distance. how we cant just drive over to see her cousin and aunties, or grandparents. we will be moving back home and i really want it to be priority for them to be close.

now, here is the part where i lend my thoughts and advice. take it or leave it, wont offend me. all these tips are coming straight from my heart, and i hope they will help you through, and whisper to you in exhausting times and jubilee.

  1. sleep when she sleeps. i know, you wont figure this out until about the 3rd week. naps with her will be your savior. you wont know up from down sometimes, just take a nap.
  2. eat. you cant take care of her if you dont take care of yourself. small meals all day will keep you feeling great and wont cause you to crash or milk to go down. also, drink 2x more water than you did while pregnant. rule of thumb, drink a bottle of water every time you nurse her. whats coming out, will need to go back in.
  3. the laundry can wait. there will be times you wear a dirty shirt, bra, or days you wont get out of your pajamas. its ok. really. 
  4. sing her one lullaby. i sing kim lots of songs, but i have been singing one song to her since we were in the hospital. it immediately calms her. 
  5. dont get too frustrated with breastfeeding. you are both learning. you two are a team. 
  6. its ok if you dont keep up with commitments you used to BC ( before children). give yourself a good two months before you resume life the way you used to. friends will understand. and if they dont, they arent friends. 
  7. take every photo you can. 
  8. when you are alone with her, and you need to shower... fill up her baby tub, place it in the bath. face it to you, and shower. you will still be able to see her, and she will love seeing you in there with her. 
  9. let trevor help you. as a new mom, you will want to do it all on your own. you will have that instinct. you can change her better, feed her better, put her to sleep better..... ect. but it will get tiring when she prefers you over her father for all of that. 
  10. you need time to yourself. if that means taking a walk alone, or reading a magazine in the bath, you need little treats for yourself. im still trying to find this balance. 
remember. the person you were is dying today. so take time to mourn her. you will no longer we able to be selfish. even if you wanted to. the days of getting ready and getting out the door are over. well, you will be able to get out the door but you will be fifteen minutes late and two clothing changes deep. there are days when you will cry. cry for no reason, and every reason. its ok to be sad. its ok to feel uncomfortable. your body is changing. your hormones are shifting. its science. dont be too hard on yourself, youre never going to think youre good enough. there is always something more you could be doing. get it out of your head that you will do it all. taking care of her is the only thing you have to worry about. she wont remember the clean house or the dirty laundry. she will remember you playing with her and making memories. promise. and remember, if you ever need me, im just a phone call away . I LOVE YOU.

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